i’m not much of a sentimental person. i’m very good at enjoying what is happening right now and happily looking forward. i appreciate the past but i don’t usually dwell on it. this has proven to be a helpful quality now that i have this baby that is determined to grow up so quickly. those sweet baby days only last for a second, a very quick, fleeting second.
with each month that passes i love this little girl more and more. it is hard to be sad about losing that tiny baby that she was because i am so excited for the little girl she is becoming. my heart even flutters to think of the teenager she will be. i tell her dad all the time we will still be bffs then; that she won’t close her door and ignore us for five years, not my evie. he assures me that i am completely delusional. he has even suggested that my dance moves will very soon start to embarrass her (yeah, right!).
but…something has happened to me recently. i’ve started to get weepy over those first few months when we were getting to know one another. that wrinkly baby skin, her sweet squishy cheeks napping on my chest, even the interrupted sleep because she needed me in the middle of the night. where is this coming from?! i mean, life is good right now. just like i say every month, this is my very favorite age so far. but these sentimental feelings keep creeping up on me and throwing me for a loop.
yesterday my girl was sick and after seeing the doctor we spent the day at home together. it was a quiet day because she needed her rest and took a three hour nap. the house was clean, a candle was burning, and as i made a cup of coffee i had a feeling of déjà vu. i realized i have been missing those maternity leave days where it was just the two of us. our days were slow. we had no big goals to accomplish and no lists to check off. now, we are busy and our days are full but also fulfilling. i’m not complaining, i love our “now” but i think i finally get the whole sentimental thing. that time we had together, almost one year ago exactly, was so very precious. i’m realizing it’s okay to be a sad that it has passed.
so, all that advice you get when you are pregnant about enjoying every second because they grow up so fast…yeah, that’s all true. people tell you that stuff for a reason! i’m going to try to get my act together by the time the big one year mark rolls around. in the meantime, i’m going to enjoy my uninterrupted sleep, because who am i kidding, i only missed that part for a split second!